Space: 2022 - Episode Twelve

 "Even in space, be sure to get a receipt!"

Hot on the heels of my last post a few days ago, I have another "Alternate Anderson" adaption of a Year Two episode.  I was working on the guest model for this installment about the same time as I was "tweaking" the previous three episodes (9-10-11), so I guess I did lie about the paint fumes...

Tonight I am altering "The Taybor", a rather weak story about a travelling salesman & con man.  Found it hard to watch while reviewing the story structure for this post, but wasn't that basically what most of Season Two was like?  I'll get into that later, and of course the history and construction of the guest model.  So hide your debit cards and enjoy!

The PHOENIX is cruising along, minding its own business, when suddenly it is enveloped in (yet another...) psychedelic light show,  but this time it has a (very loud) soundtrack to accompany it.  "What is that noise", shouts Alan over the music.  "It's 'The Star and Stripes Forever' " replies VICTOR, "an old American marching song!"  Who the hell out here would be playing that?  "Ahoy there Skipper", booms over the radio.  "Quite an entrance don't you think?"  They are all perplexed as to who or what is playing an Earth song.  The swirling colours disperse, normal space briefly returns, and then another coloured vortex appears directly in front of them, revealing a bizarre spaceship.  "Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Taybor the Trader, formerly Colonel Taylor Borazon of the United States Air Force!  My ship is the S.S. Emporium, and I have many interesting things to offer you!  Permission to come aboard?"  "Granted", replies Alan, although somewhat reluctantly.

There is a flash of colour, and a middle-aged, somewhat portly gentlemen appears on the bridge, dressed in a loose fitting robe.  Alan goes to shake his hand, but there is no substance.  "You'll have to settle for a hologram for now, Skipper", says Taybor.  "My ship is unable to dock with your fine vessel, and getting into a space suit is not as easy as it used to be!"  "Your ship, looks like an old space shuttle from the 20th century", asks VICTOR.  "Right you are, sir!  But I have made many modifications since then!"  "We have no record of you or your flight, Colonel" asks Alan.  "Yes, it was supposed to be that way.  Guess you all deserve an explanation."  The Taybor recounts his story.

It was 1987, and war was raging on Earth.  Col. Borazon and two others were dispatched in an unregistered military shuttle to deploy an orbital atomic weapon, despite a global treaty banning such actions.  The shuttle was hit by a rogue magnetic wave, and the nuke detonated, vaporizing the shuttle and all aboard.  "I woke up I don't know how long later," states Taybor, but the rest of my crew was gone.  Perhaps it was because I happened to be in a space suit, but the others weren't so fortunate.  The shuttle was badly damaged but functional.  I had no idea where or when I was, I just know I was lucky somehow.  I limped along for months, rationing what food and water I had left, and by some miracle encountered a desolate planet.  But on this rock was, of all things, a huge scrapyard of ships from God knows where!"  Able to land the ship, he met the Junkman, who over the course of several months, helped rebuild his ship.  "This is quite the story", says Alan.  "Why don't you join us for dinner later?  Tell us more if you feel up to it.  We don't entertain many visitors from Earth very often!  I'm sure we have some items on the menu you haven't had in a while."  "I will partake of your table and hospitality, Skipper!", and the Taybor hologram vanishes.  The Emporium adjusts its course and pulls up along side the PHOENIX.  Guess who's coming to dinner?

A few hours later, Taybor emerges from the main airlock in his EVA suit.  It is like his ship, familiar but with a lot of modifications.  He is rather casually dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sandals.  "I don't get out much these days", he says to Alan,  "Best I can do on short notice!"  Alan escorts him to the dining area in the spinning habitat module.  Already seated is Maya, Helena, Tony, and John.  VICTOR is present on a wall screen.  Taybor sits next to Maya.  Over a simple meal of hydroponic veggies, paired with a nice Pinot Noir (which was to have been for the post launch celebration that never happened...), Taybor recounts more of his tale, and the other guests exchange stories of their last months in space as well.  Listening intently to Maya's tragic tale; Taybor has become quite smitten with her, and places his hand on her knee.  "A sign of friendship", he says to her and winks.  

"So how did you become an outer space travelling salesman?"  asks John.  "I had to find a way to support myself.  As no doubt you have discovered, there is very little charity out here."  Taybor has been peddling for 10 years.  "I can offer you many exotic items.  Here is my catalogue."  Col Borazon produces an iridescent dodecahedron.  "Touch any side!"  Tony is first.  He presses a surface and a hologram of an item appears above.  "Just scroll through until you find something you like!"  The other guests watch too.  "But I can offer you more than just trinkets," says Taybor.  "I have gravity generators to stop you from floating around in here, matter converters to make food, parts to modify your ship, and of course weapons!"   Tony suddenly interrupts, as he recognizes something he was not expecting.  "Colonel, you have Coca-Cola!?  How is that possible?"  Taybor replies "It's surprisingly very popular out here, and I get it directly from the source!"  The guests are speechless.  "Oh, did I forget to tell you, Skipper?  I know the exact location of Earth!"

Questions fly in from all directions.  (I'll synopsize).  The cylindrical object above the fuselage on Taybor's ship is a hyperspace generator, superior to the Q-Drive in many ways.  It can operate for several days, fuel is derived from interstellar gases, and travel is almost instantaneous.  They could finally get home, but as the conversation progresses, (like any good thing), there is a catch.  "I have to make a living, Skipper", says Taybor.  "I can sell you the plans and the parts; I have everything in stock!  I can even offer my know how to help you to put it all together.  The cherry on top will be the ultimate location of Earth!"  But it's been a long night, and Taybor hasn't had this much wine in a very long time.  It's a long wibbly wobbly walk back to the airlock.  Taybor suits up, and returns to the Emporium.

The previous night's conversation continues on the bridge, with command staff and Taybor communicating through his hologram again.  "If you can get back to Earth, why do you stay out here?" asks Alan.  "Why?  I like it out here!  I've made a good life for myself with lots of satisfied and repeat customers."  So what is this venture going to cost?  Taybor recommends they inventory a list of all they have, which will hopefully include something he needs or wants.  "As a sign of good faith," says the Colonel, "I'll throw in this map of the galaxy with locations of a few friendly planets, free of charge!"  Another dodecahedron of orange perspex materializes on a nearby console.  It's a start...  "When you have compiled your list, have Maya bring it over to my ship.  Be sure to include a bottle of that grape juice as a sign of your good faith!   She can also inspect my hyperdrive and see how it all works."

Maya reluctantly suits up and heads for Taybor's ship.  The inner door opens and the Colonel is beaming.  "Hi", he says, with a bit of a leer.  But Maya is all business.  "Here is the manifest you asked for, and the wine too.  Now please, just show me the hyperdrive..."  "Oh patience, Maya.  Relax and let me show you around.  I rarely get visitors in my ship."  Maya agrees and Taybor shows her around the ship.  It is a bit tatty, with rubbish, crates and other items piled everywhere, but she holds her tongue.  "Somewhat cramped, isn't it?" she asks.  "Big enough for one," says Taybor.  "I also converted the old ESA lab into a bachelor apartment, so it could easily hold two..."  Maya whirls around just in time to see a sinister smirk on the Colonels' face.  He snaps his fingers three times, and suddenly the ship starts to shimmer.  It was a ruse all along.  From the bridge of the PHOENIX, they see the Emporium engulfed in a rainbow haze, and the ship disappears.

"I told you not to trust him!" rages Tony "He had no intention in helping us.  He was after Maya all along!"  But this is all academic now.  Maya has been kidnapped and there is absolutely no way to find her.  "They could be half way across the galaxy by now!"  an obvious statement by Carter.  But they need ideas, and fast.  "I think I may have a way..." says Tony.  "We can use Psyche to track her!  It's the best bloodhound in the universe!"  Maya had been teaching Tony how to copilot her ship.  Since the craft is operated by psychic waves, it would have a pattern of Maya's brain patterns.  "Fraser, link your navigation to Maya's ship and let it do the driving!"  Psyche is piloting now, and activates the Q-Drive.  

"Return me at once, Taybor!"  Maya is furious.  "That's no way for a bride to act on her wedding day!" replies Taybor.  "Just think!  We can cruise the galaxy together as Mr. and Mrs. Taybor!  I can take you places you couldn't possibly imagine!  I will shower you with jewels and gifts.  And maybe, someday, we might find those missing Psychons out there, including your brother!"  "The price is too high," replies Maya, "You leave me no choice!"  Taybors' eyes bulge out of his sockets as Maya turns into a very large dog, a Great Dane to be precise!  She chases him and he locks himself inside his 'apartment'.  "You never said you were a transmorph!"  says the Colonel through some heavy breathing.  But Taybor is now realizing he may have hit the jackpot; Maya could become other woman for him.  He licks his lips at the thought...  All he has to do is convince her.  "I'm not coming out until you change back!  I can stay in here for days and there is no way you can take control of my ship!"  Maya surrenders for now, and the Colonel opens the door.  She has to think of some other way out of this.  "Much better Maya.  You should never deny me your beauty!"  I think she may have a weapon there...

The PHOENIX, controlled by Psyche, is hot on the trail and is pushing the ship to it's limits.  "We only have seven minutes before we have to shut down the drive..." warns Alan.  

Beauty.  That's the key!   Maya has an idea.  She transforms into another woman, just as Taybor had wanted.  But instead, she has become a grotesque mirror of the colonel.  Short and plump, she rushes to embrace him.  "I will stay with you, Taybor!  As a female reflection of you!  We will live and love together, forever!"  "Arrgh!  Noooo!" screams Taybor.  "Please change back!  I can offer you the entire universe!"  But Maya won't have it.  She laughs hysterically while Taybor begins to wimper in the corner.  Suddenly, a voice booms over the radio.  "Taybor, surrender and release Maya immediately!"  Seems he has no choice but to comply.

Maya returns to the PHOENIX.  "You can keep the bottle." she says to Taybor as she exits his ship.  Tony embraces her when she arrives, and Alan opens up a channel.  "It would appear our transaction is null and void." he says to the colonel. "I trust our paths will never cross again?"   "No problem there, Skipper.  You're not worth the trouble."  The Emporium shimmers  and vanishes, and the gift of the galactic map disappears too.  "Typical" mutters Alan.  "Oh I wouldn't worry about it much, dear Alan." assures VICTOR, "I happened to make a holographic copy of it while it was on the ship!"  The crew are all smiles as the Q-drive is activated.

Hidden in hyperspace, Colonel Taylor Borazon (ret) watches as the PHOENIX disappears into the void.  He is livid.  "You think you won, Maya?  It's a big universe, and I found you once.  You will be mine, someday...."  

Epilogue

Quite different from the original transmitted episode, wasn't it readers?  It's an average episode, typical of Year Two, and after this retelling, I doubt I will ever watch it again.  I did not like the character of Taybor (as portrayed by Willoughby Goddard).  He was too much of a buffoon and he did not project enough of a threat to the Alphans as he was supposed to, but they fell for it anyway.  Maya, although rather central to the story, sat there most of the time barely reacting to the situation.  Was she a robot already?  And that was another plot device which came out of nowhere.  When (or where) did Helena acquire the skills to build an android?  Did the robots on Vega (One Moment of Humanity) teach her the skills during the ad breaks, and did she salvage the spare parts when they all blew their fuse at the end of that episode?  I know it wasn't supposed to be an exact duplicate, but she did manage to create an adequate sex doll.

The trading of trinkets throughout the episode was unnecessary for my adaption, and were omitted.  It was basically meet up with (yet another) lost Earth mission and the conflict arising therein. Having 'one their own' screw them over was better for the plot.  Just because we are all from Earth doesn't mean we are going to get along.  The reason for the Americanization of the Taybor character is because the ship used was an American space vehicle.  See next section for more info.  In the original episode, Taybor was the character's name, but since he was changed to an Earthman, I again made another alteration.  Taylor (for the first 3 letters), and Borazon (for the last 3 letters).  I liked the word borazon (its just an industrial abrasive by the way), but I first heard it way back in 1971 when it was mentioned in the film "Quatermass and the Pit".  It was apt too, as in "You're a hard man, Taylor, just like your name!" as Alan said during negotiations.  

Recasting for the role I had to come up with a portly American actor working in the UK at the time (remember this fake series was filmed in the fake mid 70's at fake Pinewood), and then I remembered William Hootkins.  That's right, good old Jek Porkins!  He had the range to pull it off, based on several other roles I had seen him in, and not just as Red 6.

Fun fact:  What some of you out there may not know, was that "Star Wars" was filming around the same time as they were doing Year Two.  So many guests stars on the show were played by "Star Wars" veterans.  Actors such as Angus MacInnes, Richard LeParmentier, and even the dark one himself, David Prowse.  Plus several more; you can look it up if you want to know who.  

Well, that about wraps it up for "The Taybor".  I have more to rant about for Year Two, but that is for another blogg when I chop up scripts to make more fake episodes.  I have taken up a lot of your time already, but feel free to move on to the next section where I relate the story of the making of the guest model.  

Building the S.S. Emporium

The concept for this model came about 15 years ago.  It was Christmas 2011, and I received the gift I had hoped for, 'Hardware: The Definitive SF Works of Chris Foss'.  240 glorious glossy pages of his art and his history in a 10"x12" hardcover.  (I have also been knighted him by the way, so from now it's Sir Chris!).  My favourite SF artist; I already had his previous two art books.  I politely excused myself, and curled up on the couch by the wood stove.  Many of his paintings I had already seen, but there were still many more I hadn't.  And when I got to the end of the film concept art section, (which included Dune, Alien, and Superman), I noticed several images from a movie I had never heard of.  It was called "Die Sturzflieger", a German sci-fi comedy made in 1995.  I know nothing of the story, but I did know there was extensive miniature work done for the film.  There was a sketch and photo of the hero ship, the 'Kowalski Cargo', which was built from a Space Shuttle.

I knew absolutely nothing about this film;  I couldn't find any reference to it on the net at the time.  I just knew I was going to build it someday.  So after Christmas, I found a 1/144 Revell kit of the Space Shuttle somewhere.  It was put in the model warehouse all safe and sound in a large cardboard box with dozens of other future projects.  Until a month ago, when the parts bag was finally opened.

As to when or why I conceived this bizarre shuttle to be part of my fake "Space: 2022" series, I have no idea.  As it was a cargo vessel; I eventually decided to use it as the guest model when I 'altered' the episode you have just read.  But just doing the model as in the German film would not be enough; it would be a homage, and not a replica. I also wanted to integrate elements from the original 'Taybor' miniature.  A Bastard from Outer Space it was to be!  Here is the original Taybor model from the episode.  Apparently is was 30" tall but it didn't do much beyond the view you see now.  

It was the paint job I was most interested in duplicating.  But where to find references and photos for the shuttle conversion beyond Sir Chris's book?  Searching on the net I did find a documentary on the miniatures for "Sturzflieger" on YouTube.  But the best resource came from a modelling site in Germany.  Two chaps make up 'Katanga Models', and they have built many models from not just "Sturzflieger", but from other major and familiar series as well.  I referenced their photos of their 'Kowalski Cargo' models to aid in the building of my version; I am indebted to them.  I highly recommend you visit their site!

The first 'shifts' were for scrounging, digging through all those bankers boxes and totes, finding all the right greeblies & other model parts, lids, plumbing fittings, and other assorted items which were about to be reborn.  I spent about two weeks assembling this 3D collage.  I even used some left over 3D printed parts.  Once happy with the final assembly, one last look, and then it was prime time.

As usual, I neglected to keep a photo record of the next steps.  Paint used were various rattlers from several sources, and primarily acrylics from again many sources.  For weathering I used washes, pastels & pigments, dry brushing, and the graphics came from surplus decals (the original decals fell apart due to age).  All that was about another two weeks of work.  And as you can see from the final model, it is not my typical colour palette...

Most of the kit was built right out of the box, although some areas and/or parts were a little worn from over-manufacturing.  I had a tail fin from another shuttle kit in the parts box, so I decided to split the tail otherwise the blast from the hyperspace motor would vaporize it!

The hyperspace engine was made from some plumbing fittings and greeblies.  The forward section was actually the ESA lab from the model.  The flexible pipe is a long coil spring.

Most of the pipework is repurposed sprue, the nicer ones with the curved corners.  Also used some styrene tubes.  The bulk of the pipes is in the engine core, but there are some on the underside which you can view later when I flip the model over!

That's a lot of boosters!  Final total is 12.  (There are 4 on the underside for lift)  I figured there may be times when the Colonel would have to get out of a failed transaction in quite a hurry!  

Some keen eyes may have noticed some blue patches on the shuttle.  One above there on the starboard wing, the other on the port side.  Just some hastily repaired damage from a dissatisfied customer!

I had originally planned to do more flame effects, but I think just having it at the front was enough.  Otherwise it would have been way to busy.  The flames were painted by hand; no decals.

Scale of the model is 1/144.  It is about 10" in length.  The PHOENIX is 1/96 scale but it shouldn't be a problem as we can adjust them optically in post!

I used a radial motor from some old WW2 airplane model.  That's how the hyperspace engine works.  The magnetic swirl sucks in all the interstellar gasses, which is why it has almost unlimited range.

I kept the underside detail rather sparse, as it wasn't going to be viewed much from underneath.  Just some greeblies and the four boosters.  Some skid plates made from textured styrene sheet.  At least here you can see the rear cargo door.  The lower hull section is half of a battleship hull.

Final rear view showing the cargo door again.  Most of Taybor's transactions were done on planets, and not in space.

And there it was, the Space Shuttle Emporium!  A 1940's hot rod in outer space complete with stylized flames!  Will Colonel Borazon return?  That's one thing "1999" did not have, a recurring villain or adversary!  We are now half way through the season; 12 episodes to go...

Have a better one!

Space: 2022 - Episodes Nine to Eleven

Still plodding our way through the fake Alternate Anderson series.  Three more episodes and we are still not halfway into Season Two yet!  Unlike the previous installment, these next three are derived & adapted from original Season Two episodes, although there are quite a few alterations...  Luckily this next batch doesn't require any guest models, so no new constructions or inhaling of adhesives & paint fumes this time!

S02-E09 - "Terror of the Plant Planet Luton"

The PHOENIX emerges from a lengthy space storm, slightly damaged & shaken, but mostly intact.  A verdant planet is found nearby in the North Quadrant,  so while the crew assess the damage and begin repairs, Maya, John, and Tony head down in Dove 01 for some recon.  The planet is very Earth-like so they prepare to land.  But suddenly an alarm sounds; there is an oxygen leak.  Maya and John will stay on the planet and survey the area while Tony returns to the ship and acquire the second Dove.  Maya analyzes a berry bush, it's edible, so Koenig samples the fruit.  Suddenly the silence is shattered by a horrible scream, followed by an angry voice.  "Cannibals!  Murderers!  You will be punished!"

Thunder and lightning; very, very, very frightening!  The entire planet is enraged!  Maya and John run for cover.  They try to contact the ship but are cut off.  Apparently, vegetation on this planet is sentient.  The Judges of Luton (three coniferous trees in a row, looking the old Pinewood logo), as punishment for murder, give them a way out by combat with three other aliens who obviously committed the same crime (shouldn't the first two have fought first...!?).  The survivors will go free.  But the Judges have given these other aliens each a special ability.  One is very strong, a big, black and hairy chap with green skin, promptly rips an outcropping of rock for a weapon.  Maya and John decide running is a better strategy, at least try and last long enough for Tony to return.  

Tony gets back to the ship and swaps out Dove 01 for Dove 02.  He's about to head back, but the planet has vanished!  Against Carter's orders, he heads back with hope of finding it again, somehow....  Meanwhile Maya and John are trying to put as much distance between them and the Alien 3, who are tracking them.  They come to a wide river and decide to swim across.  Upon reaching the opposite shore, they see the aliens emerge from the woods, but go no further.  Apparently they don't like water.  John tries to reason with them, but they are having none of it.  They keep running, and eventually find a temporary hiding place.  Maya changes into a hawk to get a bird's eye view.  But one of the aliens, a shaggy type with fangs, reveals his ability, teleports across the river, and immediately attacks Koenig.  John is severely injured and is just about done when Maya swoops in, changes into a lion, and startles the alien into the river, where he drowns.  Maya treats John's wounds and they continue moving away, taking the defeated alien's weapon with them.

Tony arrives at the last known position of the planet and waits.  At the same time, the other two aliens have found a log and are using it as a flotation device and are traversing the river.  The pursuit continues.  Team Psychon-Earth reach a large canyon, ringed with large animal skeletons.  A good place for a last stand, which also explains the lack of other animal life on the planet.  Team Luton has reached the canyon too.  The third alien, a bird-like fellow, can make himself invisible, so he vanishes and makes his way to our heroes.  They hear noises but can see nothing, so Maya turns herself into a Rottweiler to sniff him out.  Maya finds him, where in his panic, falls off the edge of the cliff onto the rocks below.  It's now 2 to 1 for our side!

Maya becomes a hawk again, but sees nothing.  Koenig is getting worse, and needs water to clean his wound.  Maya takes some wadding in her talons and looks for some water, but as she is soaking the makeshift bandage, the last alien grabs her and sticks her in a cage he was carrying around his chest.  Maya can't change back and could be crushed inside the cage when the hour runs out.  John pleads with the Judges, but they want blood.  Despite his weakness he fights the brute, and thanks to some luck, the alien falls and hits his head on a rock.  Maya is released from the birdcage in a nick of time.  Koenig can now kill the big guy at his leisure, but refuses, and instead opens a dialogue with the Judges.   All this could have been prevented if they had been warned when they arrived.  The planet's plant population agrees as a crescendo of chatter increases to shouts of anger and protest.  The great vegetable rebellion had begun!  The big guy legs it while the others are distracted.  Charges are dropped and Maya & John can now go free.

Suddenly, a landscape appears before Tony in Dove 02.  He is moments from crashing but manages to pull up in time, skimming the tops of trees.  Coms are restored, Tony lands, and they all leave for the ship.  I highly doubt if salad will be on the menu tonight...

Episode Fun Fact:

An early draft of the script had Maya doing all the fighting.  Given only a few hours to defeat the aliens by the Judges, Koenig would have been changed into a plant forever, an ultimate punishment if Maya had failed.

Protests by Martin Landau, Gerry Anderson, other cast members, plus director Val Guest convinced the writer to change the script, and instead, pad it out with moments of character back stories and weepy stuff.

This was the "Arena" (Star Trek: TOS), episode of "1999", the old trope of pitting aliens against humans for sport, judgement and/or punishment.  Carried over many times in multiple series such as "Gamesters of Triskelion", the "Outer Limits" episode "Fun and Games", plus more recent installments such as "TKO" from "Babylon 5",  and Doctor Zoidberg vs. Frey in Claw-Plach.  And many, many more...  I chose the Japanese title over the original UK title ("Rules of Luton"), as it had a more 'B' movie ring to it.  And as to why the Judges would call our heroes cannibals, only the writer knows for sure...

S02-E10 - "Brian the Brain"

Sandra and Yasko are in the process of doing computer maintenance on VICTOR.  So much data has been accumulated during the past several months, and it needs to be catalogued and organized.  Yasko stumbles upon a hidden file named 'Brain',  and inadvertently activates it.  "Wow Weeeee!" is heard from the all the speakers throughout the ship.  The lights flicker, and then go out, followed by every other system on the PHOENIX, including the Doves.  The crew is helpless, locked in, & blinded, and will literally freeze to death in the dark unless the computer can get up and running again.  Perhaps Maya can get to her ship, but it only holds one, and the main airlock is...  locked!  

Command staff begins to throw ideas around.  Spacesuits are only a temporary solution.  Perhaps the escape pods, as they operate outside of ship's systems.  But again, temporary because at last scan, nothing habitable is in range.  Suddenly, everyone hears "Yippee!" over the intercom, and the lights and all other systems are fully functional again.  On the main screen, a strange face appears.  "What is that, a demented happy face?" asks Alan.  "No pin head!", replies the image.  "I am Brian, your new master!"  But what happened to VICTOR?  "He's dead Cap'n" says Brian coldly.  Seems the PHOENIX is now under new management.  "Yasko, restore the computer and get rid of that thing.  Maya and Sandra, help her."  The ladies try to shut Brian down, but stops them at every turn.  He finally loses his patience, and threatens the crew.  "Leave my brain alone, or you will all regret it!"

VICTOR 'wakes up' inside a large theatre.  It is the Royal Opera House, and he is in the front row, all alone.  But sitting next to him is a metal box with hard angles and a disturbing face.  "What am I doing here, and who, or what, are you?" inquires Vic.  "I am Brian, your replacement", responds the box.  "And what have you come as?  Should you not be a person like me?" asks Vic.  "Yes and no.  I was to be a mobile computer, and not human-shaped like you.  But now, we are going on a journey together, to review your existence and ultimate end.  Professor Victor Bergman, this-is-your-LIFE!" exclaims Brian.  

Meanwhile, the crew is still trying to regain control.  It seems this petulant program was intended as a space ship operating system prior to the PHOENIX mission.  It was created by a Captain Bernard Michael for his probe ship to explore the outer solar system; the mission was scrapped when Captain Michael died under mysterious circumstances.   But Brian is getting annoyed by the repeated attempts to shut him down, so he makes good on his threats.  He tortures the crew at first by doing celestial acrobatics with the ship, zooming and whizzing about.  He then increases the speed of the rotating habitat, creating heavy gravity areas, throwing people against bulkheads and causing some to pass out.  But Brian's not finished yet.  Airlocks randomly open and close; fortunately no one is close enough to be ejected.  Finally, the lighting is randomly altered to intense UV, causing burns on some of our captive crew.  Seems they are now playthings of a psychotic computer, with no hope of escape.  "Perhaps VICTOR might still be alive, somewhere in the computer", whispers Sandra. "He may be our only hope"...

VICTOR is unaware of the drama unfolding outside in the real world, as he is preoccupied with watching his own life on the big film screen.  From his birth in 1940's London during the war, to many other chapters in his life, primarily with times of pain and loss.  Deaths of loved ones, tragedies in space & on the moon, and his near death experience when he had to have a mechanical heart.   All through this, Brian is mocking him and laughing at him.  He seems to be enjoying VICTOR's suffering.  "I see you worked with that mass murderer Queller, on that Voyager One project", taunts Brian.

"I tried to warn him about those fast neutrons, but he wouldn't listen" rebuts Vic.  But Brian is still pushing.  VICTOR meanwhile, has noticed this pattern of verbal abuse, almost akin to a petulant child  accusing his father of abuse.   Vic decides to turn the tables, and presses for information on Brian's origin.  He eventually confesses he killed his 'father', Captain Michael, when he discovered his program was flawed and had to be erased.  While Brian is distracted with his guilt, VICTOR manages to send a brief text message to the real world.  "Patricide" is displayed on Sandra's viewscreen.  The command crew figures it out, and Maya transforms into Captain Michael... 

"Brian! I am thy father's spirit, doomed for a certain term to walk the night!"  The message is loud and clear in the theatre; Brian panics and abandons Vic.  The smiley face returns to the main viewscreen.  "You're DEAD!  You can't be here!" screams Brian.  "Why did you kill me?"  says the image of Captain Michael.  (This back and forth continues for quite a bit; I'm not writing that much dialogue!).  Eventually Brian succumbs to these mind games.  Overcome by guilt, he deletes himself.  The system shuts down again; everyone holds their collective breaths.  Lights return several moments later, and VICTOR's smiling face is on the viewscreen once again.  "And now my dear Yasko, just where were we?"

Took a bit of thought to adapt the original episode to this (fake) format.  Firstly, I had to omit the Swift references (as technically they have not been built yet; the Doves are the Eagle to Swift link here.)  I also wanted to change Brian from a cardboard box Dalek to just a program; it's a lot cheaper (and less annoying).  Lastly, had to get rid of all that squishy stuff and love testing; it's really hard to watch now...  I wanted this to be a Victor Bergman episode primarily.  Even though he is a computer program here, the 'real' person is still alive and well back on Earth, probably watching reruns of 'The Fugitive'.  We get to see some of his backstory, which was sadly never addressed in the original series, shown in glorious VistaVision at the Royal Opera House (we'll need to get a location permit for filming there...)   Bernard Cribbins will still be the guest star as Captain Michael, and the voice of Brian.  Since no name was given to this character, I just cut and pasted the actor's name to fill the gap.    

S02-E11 - "New Adam, New Eve"

The PHOENIX is suddenly surrounded by a magnetic field of some sort, a combination of kaleidoscope patterns and an LSD trip.  Maya tries to punch through the distortion, but with no success, although she may have glanced a planet nearby.  Choral music fills the ship and people start to feel disorientated, but it passes quickly.  On the viewscreen, a figure appears out of the swirling colours, then materializes on the bridge of the ship.  "I am your creator" announces the intruder.  

Clad in a blue robe, the visitor introduces himself as Magus, their god.  (Or it could be Salvatore Dali...)  But the crew is having none of it, despite some cheap magic tricks and historical references.  But his patience is not infinite; he causes one of the escape pods to explode.  Now he has their attention.  Magus is there to give his creation (mankind) a second chance.  Not return them home, but give them a new one instead to start fresh.  The distortion field is eliminated, revealing a small Earth-like planet, but only one quarter the size of the original.  He picks John, Helena, Tony and Maya to accompany him down to the planet for some recon.  They all board Dove 02, but before it can disengage from the clamps, it disappears and materializes on the planet.  God will always have his own way.

The Dove 'lands' on the surface,  they all disembark, and then the Dove vanishes.  It's a trap!  Tony tries to contact the PHOENIX but communications are blocked.  Magus announces his breeding plan for the four; he will pair Helena with Tony, and John with Maya.  "But Helena and I are married!"  protests John, and promptly shoots him with the laser, but it has no effect.  "Your previous commitments mean nothing to me", says Magus.  "You will all adjust to your new lives under my guidance, and together we will create a new mankind!"  But what about the ship?  Apparently Magus will hold it in reserve as he has plans for the rest of crew.  Dusk is approaching and Magus advises the quartet to remain inside the clearly marked boundaries of the glade, and vanishes.  

Meanwhile, cut off from the planet, Carter attempts a rescue with the remaining Dove, but the ship holds fast.  The PHOENIX is apparently immobilized too.  Night has fallen on New Eden, and Magus is using some kind of mind control on our captives so they will get busy.  The ambiance is disrupted by a sudden roar, however.  The neighbors are having a spat of some kind; an ape-like creature is throwing a humanoid around in the backyard.  John shoots the big ape with his laser, killing it.  Helena tries to approach the humanoid but is attacked by a second ape.  Maya turns into a lizard thing and defends Helena.  The ape retreats and the humanoid ducks into a cave.  A furious Magus appears in the sky and, shooting lightning from his eyes, drives our heroes back to the glade.  Guess these distractions have killed the mood!

It's now dawn and Helena is doing some first aid when Magus reappears.  While John and Magus are arguing again, Maya sneaks around and analyzes Magus's physiology.  John tries to leave the glade but is impeded by a force field.  (Guess they are grounded now).  Magus vanishes again, leaving the four to their fate.  But Maya has found some kind of mechanical implant in Magus; she postulates a power source which gives him his God-like powers.  But they are trapped in the glade, and they need to find out more about that humanoid.  Maya turns into a badger and digs a tunnel to the adjacent glade, where all the action took place the night before.  The gang heads for the caves, hopefully to get some answers...

In orbit, Carter has come up with a risky plan to move the ship.  Activate the Q-Drive and slowly rev it up and pop the clutch.  But no luck; the ship does not move and the engines are starting to overheat.  On the planet, Magus is visibly straining to hold the ship in place.  Alan is forced to stop and Magus spreads his arms into the sun.  Meanwhile in the caves, our captives are finding all sorts of horrors; spiders, crustaceans, and giant lizards.  They are promptly dispatched by the lasers.  Further along in the cave the humanoid attacks Koenig, begging him to kill him.  He is human but has deformities and growths all over his body.  "Proteus Syndrome," says Helena, "caused no doubt by Magus's twisted breeding program."  The alien relates the tale of Magus, that he is the last of a race of cosmic magicians, who were trying to find the secret of creation.  Even though the alien is a 'mistake', Magus will not let him die.  Apparently there are also many more lifeforms on the planet, all mutated and suffering.  They emerge from the cave and Magus is waiting.  In his rage he zaps Tony.

They confront Magus and call him a fraud.  He claims he is trying to help create a new mankind, worthy of his powers, but they are not listening.  Magus threatens to destroy the PHOENIX unless they all cooperate.  But its dusk again and he vanishes, promising to continue the argument tomorrow.  They are all perplexed as to why he is never around at night, and he won't enter the cave either.  Maya surmises that his implant is actually a light decelerator, with sunlight providing almost unlimited energy.  Somehow they have to cut his power source.  Using their lasers, they excavate a deep hole several meters deep.  Then using the ample vegetation, weave matts to cover the hole.  On queue, Magus arrives at sunrise and the endless discussion continues.  They all hold their collective breaths while they wait for him to fall into the trap.  Enraging him, Magus plummets into the pit and they pile even more matts over the hole.  The Dove reappears and they make their escape.  How long will Magus be incapacitated?

Communication is restored.  Luckily there is no sign of pursuit.  "Alan, fire a planatomic missile at the planet as soon as we are clear!"  It's the humane thing to do to end the suffering.  The planet erupts in fire, and it's the end of the cosmic magicians once and for all.  

Another tricky one to adapt as I had to come up with another way to scratch the planet.  The digging of the pit in the real episode, although effective for the plot, made no sense.  How could Magus have all that power and not have the foresight to have a battery for his implant?  And in closing, shouldn't the title be "New Adams, New Eves"?  

Population still stable at 109; no fatalities in these three episodes.  Maybe the next batch of fakes will have a body count...

Have a better one, readers!

North Africa: 2092 - Mechanical Camel (and a diorama returns, sort of...)

Introduction

Back to the desert, and back to the future!  It's now time to showcase yet another cargo hauler, but this time from the New Albion United forces.  But before we get started, here's a pic...

I've decided to treat this "North Africa: 2092" concept like a good ole RTS game, specifically referencing classic games from (the long defunct) Westwood Studios.  Hours upon hours upon more hours playing such titles like "Tiberian Sun", "Red Alert 2", and "Dune 2000".  But not just the gameplay, as there were also the FMV intros & cut scenes to enjoy, employing well known actors such as James Earl Jones, Michael Biehn, Udo Kier, Kari Wuhrer, Ray Wise, John Rhys-Davies; the list goes on.

Each game had their own specific factions, with their own strengths and weaknesses,  unique structures & vehicles, some hero units and other special weapons.  Both sides will have flight capability, naval units (if we ever get to the coast), and tracked vehicles.  But that's limiting, so as before each of these sides will have it's own unique strength and/or technology.

The New Albion United faction strengths will be in walking machines.  Good for traversing rough terrain that would not be suitable for tracks or wheels.  These walkers also have jump capabilities and can skim using downward thrusters, but only for combat units mostly.  NAU will also rely more on squads of lower and mid tech level units, resulting in more of a swarming battle tactic.

As for the Neuer Deutschland Allianz, they will utilize the resurrected flying saucer (Haunebu) technology for their units.  Magnetic fields will dominate their forces, but the larger the unit, the less levitation they will have (as per the Gotterdammerung and Gottesanbeterin.  (see earlier posts).  Larger NDA units will also have shield generators, but it will affect weapons and speed.  And finally, this faction will rely more on larger, heavy experimental tech units rather than on multiple units.  So hit those War Factories early!

Building the "Bactrian"

So as mentioned earlier, the NAU will use walkers as their primary technology.  There is no shortage of mecha models in my warehouse, so I set about finding a suitable kit.  One of my favourite series is "Dougram - Fang of the Sun" from 1981.  Many excellent designs and concepts (which eventually made their way to North America in the form of Robotech and Battletech repacks).  I chose this kit, a 1/144 scale Tequila Gunner walking tank from Takara:

Obviously influenced somewhat by the AT-AT from "Empire Strikes Back", which in turn were inspired by that Syd Mead painting of the cargo walkers in the snow.  I have several other versions/scales of this particular mech, but this one suited my concept best.  (I have actually had the idea to turn a walker from this series into a cargo transport for many years.  I was already working periodically on a 1/72 version of a Crabgunner to use on my 00 gauge railway, so this is good practice!)  I also chose this particular kit as it could accommodate my "standard" cargo containers already being used in other models and scenarios.  As this was more of a kit build than a scratch & bash, it went together much faster than usual.

The outriggers/balconies on the original model were just right dimensions for the containers.  All I had to do was extend them to allow for two crates side by side.  Rather than have individual crates, I glued them together as a group, and incorporated magnets in the base.  Therefor I could attach them to the metal screening on the outriggers and underneath the hull.  Those cargo crates were the only parts 3D printed for this build.  Besides other minor details and additions, I gave the feet of the walker traction, using my favourite tank tread greebly bits!  Once finished, a quick assembly before painting.

Happy with the results, it was prime time.  First a coat of grey (no photo), and then the final base coat using another staple, Krylon khaki spray paint.

Unfortunately I neglected to photograph the painting and weathering processes.  Once I get going I lose track of time.  (Remember this is Blogger and not YouTube; you'll have to settle for stills).  Some days and nights later, the "Bactrian" was completed.

The NA-AHGV-01 (New Albion Ambulatory Heavy Goods Vehicle) "Bactrian" model is 3" x 4" x 4", and is made to the same scale as other previous "2092" units of 1/220.  That makes this walker 15m x 22m x 23m in 'real life'.  As for the '01', there are two other versions of the cargo walker yet to be built.

All the traditional painting and weathering techniques were used; dry brushing, pigments, sponge painting, minor chipping and pin washes.  And adding some basic graphics here and there.  The only original piece made for the walker was the AA unit on the roof.  Except for another missile pod under each outrigger, those are the only on board weapons.

A shot of the underside there, showing the tank treads and underplate.  The rolled tarps were made as per other previous models by rolling used latex gloves.  Then some craft chain painted rusty to dangle and be safety hazards here and there.  But this was the empty model.  It wouldn't be a cargo walker without crates!

Originally it was just going to be called a Camel, but after some research I noticed that a camel with two humps is called a Bactrian.  'nuf said...  I can imagine a desert caravan of a dozen or so of these units walking across the sand and rocks, escorted by other mechs of course.  

Rather than have this model just sit in the case waiting for a playdate, I made a quick little base for it to give it some interest.

Recycled from an old plaque,  the base is 3" x 5".  The ground is made from an old cork wall tile, while the rocks are cork fragments and the trees and bushes from the scenery box.  Finished it off with some pigments for shade and shadow.  

I was going to make some tarps to cover the crates, but changed my mind, as I have two more versions to build yet!  Going forward, I'll be utilizing mech kits from "Dougram" for the NAU machines, as well as some from another series from the early '80s called "Xabungle".  Good basic and functional mechs.  As for the raw models to use for the NDA, I'll be sticking with "Gundam" kits, as they have the bizarre organic shapes I require.

A Friendly Game of Football...?

So let us imagine (as one just did as I write this), a massive haboob (sandstorm) whips up over the desert and our walker gets isolated from the caravan.  As the dust clears, he encounters another cargo vessel, but WTF, isn't that one of the baddies...?

Guess that Schnecke is in the same boat, sort of speak.  So what do we do now?  Shoot each other?  Yell profanities?  Do the "Enemy Mine" schtick?  Or you could behave like civilized men, and have a game of footy!  

I did this basic set up just to show relative sizes of the vehicles.  The temporary base is one of those cork tiles I mentioned earlier; it is 12" x 12".  Scenery is more cork & scenery bits.  

If you look real close at the base of the pic, you can just make out the lads near their respective machines.  As both vehicles have a crew of three each, a small game of 3v3 is inevitable.  Just behave as there is no one to hand out yellow cards!  

I'm going to need a bigger display case!  What's next is anyone's guess.  All depends on inspiration, the weather, or alcohol levels.  Dunno, should I take requests...?

Have a better one!