Space: 2022 - Episode Twelve

 "Even in space, be sure to get a receipt!"

Hot on the heels of my last post a few days ago, I have another "Alternate Anderson" adaption of a Year Two episode.  I was working on the guest model for this installment about the same time as I was "tweaking" the previous three episodes (9-10-11), so I guess I did lie about the paint fumes...

Tonight I am altering "The Taybor", a rather weak story about a travelling salesman & con man.  Found it hard to watch while reviewing the story structure for this post, but wasn't that basically what most of Season Two was like?  I'll get into that later, and of course the history and construction of the guest model.  So hide your debit cards and enjoy!

The PHOENIX is cruising along, minding its own business, when suddenly it is enveloped in (yet another...) psychedelic light show,  but this time it has a (very loud) soundtrack to accompany it.  "What is that noise", shouts Alan over the music.  "It's 'The Star and Stripes Forever' " replies VICTOR, "an old American marching song!"  Who the hell out here would be playing that?  "Ahoy there Skipper", booms over the radio.  "Quite an entrance don't you think?"  They are all perplexed as to who or what is playing an Earth song.  The swirling colours disperse, normal space briefly returns, and then another coloured vortex appears directly in front of them, revealing a bizarre spaceship.  "Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Taybor the Trader, formerly Colonel Taylor Borazon of the United States Air Force!  My ship is the S.S. Emporium, and I have many interesting things to offer you!  Permission to come aboard?"  "Granted", replies Alan, although somewhat reluctantly.

There is a flash of colour, and a middle-aged, somewhat portly gentlemen appears on the bridge, dressed in a loose fitting robe.  Alan goes to shake his hand, but there is no substance.  "You'll have to settle for a hologram for now, Skipper", says Taybor.  "My ship is unable to dock with your fine vessel, and getting into a space suit is not as easy as it used to be!"  "Your ship, looks like an old space shuttle from the 20th century", asks VICTOR.  "Right you are, sir!  But I have made many modifications since then!"  "We have no record of you or your flight, Colonel" asks Alan.  "Yes, it was supposed to be that way.  Guess you all deserve an explanation."  The Taybor recounts his story.

It was 1987, and war was raging on Earth.  Col. Borazon and two others were dispatched in an unregistered military shuttle to deploy an orbital atomic weapon, despite a global treaty banning such actions.  The shuttle was hit by a rogue magnetic wave, and the nuke detonated, vaporizing the shuttle and all aboard.  "I woke up I don't know how long later," states Taybor, but the rest of my crew was gone.  Perhaps it was because I happened to be in a space suit, but the others weren't so fortunate.  The shuttle was badly damaged but functional.  I had no idea where or when I was, I just know I was lucky somehow.  I limped along for months, rationing what food and water I had left, and by some miracle encountered a desolate planet.  But on this rock was, of all things, a huge scrapyard of ships from God knows where!"  Able to land the ship, he met the Junkman, who over the course of several months, helped rebuild his ship.  "This is quite the story", says Alan.  "Why don't you join us for dinner later?  Tell us more if you feel up to it.  We don't entertain many visitors from Earth very often!  I'm sure we have some items on the menu you haven't had in a while."  "I will partake of your table and hospitality, Skipper!", and the Taybor hologram vanishes.  The Emporium adjusts its course and pulls up along side the PHOENIX.  Guess who's coming to dinner?

A few hours later, Taybor emerges from the main airlock in his EVA suit.  It is like his ship, familiar but with a lot of modifications.  He is rather casually dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sandals.  "I don't get out much these days", he says to Alan,  "Best I can do on short notice!"  Alan escorts him to the dining area in the spinning habitat module.  Already seated is Maya, Helena, Tony, and John.  VICTOR is present on a wall screen.  Taybor sits next to Maya.  Over a simple meal of hydroponic veggies, paired with a nice Pinot Noir (which was to have been for the post launch celebration that never happened...), Taybor recounts more of his tale, and the other guests exchange stories of their last months in space as well.  Listening intently to Maya's tragic tale; Taybor has become quite smitten with her, and places his hand on her knee.  "A sign of friendship", he says to her and winks.  

"So how did you become an outer space travelling salesman?"  asks John.  "I had to find a way to support myself.  As no doubt you have discovered, there is very little charity out here."  Taybor has been peddling for 10 years.  "I can offer you many exotic items.  Here is my catalogue."  Col Borazon produces an iridescent dodecahedron.  "Touch any side!"  Tony is first.  He presses a surface and a hologram of an item appears above.  "Just scroll through until you find something you like!"  The other guests watch too.  "But I can offer you more than just trinkets," says Taybor.  "I have gravity generators to stop you from floating around in here, matter converters to make food, parts to modify your ship, and of course weapons!"   Tony suddenly interrupts, as he recognizes something he was not expecting.  "Colonel, you have Coca-Cola!?  How is that possible?"  Taybor replies "It's surprisingly very popular out here, and I get it directly from the source!"  The guests are speechless.  "Oh, did I forget to tell you, Skipper?  I know the exact location of Earth!"

Questions fly in from all directions.  (I'll synopsize).  The cylindrical object above the fuselage on Taybor's ship is a hyperspace generator, superior to the Q-Drive in many ways.  It can operate for several days, fuel is derived from interstellar gases, and travel is almost instantaneous.  They could finally get home, but as the conversation progresses, (like any good thing), there is a catch.  "I have to make a living, Skipper", says Taybor.  "I can sell you the plans and the parts; I have everything in stock!  I can even offer my know how to help you to put it all together.  The cherry on top will be the ultimate location of Earth!"  But it's been a long night, and Taybor hasn't had this much wine in a very long time.  It's a long wibbly wobbly walk back to the airlock.  Taybor suits up, and returns to the Emporium.

The previous night's conversation continues on the bridge, with command staff and Taybor communicating through his hologram again.  "If you can get back to Earth, why do you stay out here?" asks Alan.  "Why?  I like it out here!  I've made a good life for myself with lots of satisfied and repeat customers."  So what is this venture going to cost?  Taybor recommends they inventory a list of all they have, which will hopefully include something he needs or wants.  "As a sign of good faith," says the Colonel, "I'll throw in this map of the galaxy with locations of a few friendly planets, free of charge!"  Another dodecahedron of orange perspex materializes on a nearby console.  It's a start...  "When you have compiled your list, have Maya bring it over to my ship.  Be sure to include a bottle of that grape juice as a sign of your good faith!   She can also inspect my hyperdrive and see how it all works."

Maya reluctantly suits up and heads for Taybor's ship.  The inner door opens and the Colonel is beaming.  "Hi", he says, with a bit of a leer.  But Maya is all business.  "Here is the manifest you asked for, and the wine too.  Now please, just show me the hyperdrive..."  "Oh patience, Maya.  Relax and let me show you around.  I rarely get visitors in my ship."  Maya agrees and Taybor shows her around the ship.  It is a bit tatty, with rubbish, crates and other items piled everywhere, but she holds her tongue.  "Somewhat cramped, isn't it?" she asks.  "Big enough for one," says Taybor.  "I also converted the old ESA lab into a bachelor apartment, so it could easily hold two..."  Maya whirls around just in time to see a sinister smirk on the Colonels' face.  He snaps his fingers three times, and suddenly the ship starts to shimmer.  It was a ruse all along.  From the bridge of the PHOENIX, they see the Emporium engulfed in a rainbow haze, and the ship disappears.

"I told you not to trust him!" rages Tony "He had no intention in helping us.  He was after Maya all along!"  But this is all academic now.  Maya has been kidnapped and there is absolutely no way to find her.  "They could be half way across the galaxy by now!"  an obvious statement by Carter.  But they need ideas, and fast.  "I think I may have a way..." says Tony.  "We can use Psyche to track her!  It's the best bloodhound in the universe!"  Maya had been teaching Tony how to copilot her ship.  Since the craft is operated by psychic waves, it would have a pattern of Maya's brain patterns.  "Fraser, link your navigation to Maya's ship and let it do the driving!"  Psyche is piloting now, and activates the Q-Drive.  

"Return me at once, Taybor!"  Maya is furious.  "That's no way for a bride to act on her wedding day!" replies Taybor.  "Just think!  We can cruise the galaxy together as Mr. and Mrs. Taybor!  I can take you places you couldn't possibly imagine!  I will shower you with jewels and gifts.  And maybe, someday, we might find those missing Psychons out there, including your brother!"  "The price is too high," replies Maya, "You leave me no choice!"  Taybors' eyes bulge out of his sockets as Maya turns into a very large dog, a Great Dane to be precise!  She chases him and he locks himself inside his 'apartment'.  "You never said you were a transmorph!"  says the Colonel through some heavy breathing.  But Taybor is now realizing he may have hit the jackpot; Maya could become other woman for him.  He licks his lips at the thought...  All he has to do is convince her.  "I'm not coming out until you change back!  I can stay in here for days and there is no way you can take control of my ship!"  Maya surrenders for now, and the Colonel opens the door.  She has to think of some other way out of this.  "Much better Maya.  You should never deny me your beauty!"  I think she may have a weapon there...

The PHOENIX, controlled by Psyche, is hot on the trail and is pushing the ship to it's limits.  "We only have seven minutes before we have to shut down the drive..." warns Alan.  

Beauty.  That's the key!   Maya has an idea.  She transforms into another woman, just as Taybor had wanted.  But instead, she has become a grotesque mirror of the colonel.  Short and plump, she rushes to embrace him.  "I will stay with you, Taybor!  As a female reflection of you!  We will live and love together, forever!"  "Arrgh!  Noooo!" screams Taybor.  "Please change back!  I can offer you the entire universe!"  But Maya won't have it.  She laughs hysterically while Taybor begins to wimper in the corner.  Suddenly, a voice booms over the radio.  "Taybor, surrender and release Maya immediately!"  Seems he has no choice but to comply.

Maya returns to the PHOENIX.  "You can keep the bottle." she says to Taybor as she exits his ship.  Tony embraces her when she arrives, and Alan opens up a channel.  "It would appear our transaction is null and void." he says to the colonel. "I trust our paths will never cross again?"   "No problem there, Skipper.  You're not worth the trouble."  The Emporium shimmers  and vanishes, and the gift of the galactic map disappears too.  "Typical" mutters Alan.  "Oh I wouldn't worry about it much, dear Alan." assures VICTOR, "I happened to make a holographic copy of it while it was on the ship!"  The crew are all smiles as the Q-drive is activated.

Hidden in hyperspace, Colonel Taylor Borazon (ret) watches as the PHOENIX disappears into the void.  He is livid.  "You think you won, Maya?  It's a big universe, and I found you once.  You will be mine, someday...."  

Epilogue

Quite different from the original transmitted episode, wasn't it readers?  It's an average episode, typical of Year Two, and after this retelling, I doubt I will ever watch it again.  I did not like the character of Taybor (as portrayed by Willoughby Goddard).  He was too much of a buffoon and he did not project enough of a threat to the Alphans as he was supposed to, but they fell for it anyway.  Maya, although rather central to the story, sat there most of the time barely reacting to the situation.  Was she a robot already?  And that was another plot device which came out of nowhere.  When (or where) did Helena acquire the skills to build an android?  Did the robots on Vega (One Moment of Humanity) teach her the skills during the ad breaks, and did she salvage the spare parts when they all blew their fuse at the end of that episode?  I know it wasn't supposed to be an exact duplicate, but she did manage to create an adequate sex doll.

The trading of trinkets throughout the episode was unnecessary for my adaption, and were omitted.  It was basically meet up with (yet another) lost Earth mission and the conflict arising therein. Having 'one their own' screw them over was better for the plot.  Just because we are all from Earth doesn't mean we are going to get along.  The reason for the Americanization of the Taybor character is because the ship used was an American space vehicle.  See next section for more info.  In the original episode, Taybor was the character's name, but since he was changed to an Earthman, I again made another alteration.  Taylor (for the first 3 letters), and Borazon (for the last 3 letters).  I liked the word borazon (its just an industrial abrasive by the way), but I first heard it way back in 1971 when it was mentioned in the film "Quatermass and the Pit".  It was apt too, as in "You're a hard man, Taylor, just like your name!" as Alan said during negotiations.  

Recasting for the role I had to come up with a portly American actor working in the UK at the time (remember this fake series was filmed in the fake mid 70's at fake Pinewood), and then I remembered William Hootkins.  That's right, good old Jek Porkins!  He had the range to pull it off, based on several other roles I had seen him in, and not just as Red 6.

Fun fact:  What some of you out there may not know, was that "Star Wars" was filming around the same time as they were doing Year Two.  So many guests stars on the show were played by "Star Wars" veterans.  Actors such as Angus MacInnes, Richard LeParmentier, and even the dark one himself, David Prowse.  Plus several more; you can look it up if you want to know who.  

Well, that about wraps it up for "The Taybor".  I have more to rant about for Year Two, but that is for another blogg when I chop up scripts to make more fake episodes.  I have taken up a lot of your time already, but feel free to move on to the next section where I relate the story of the making of the guest model.  

Building the S.S. Emporium

The concept for this model came about 15 years ago.  It was Christmas 2011, and I received the gift I had hoped for, 'Hardware: The Definitive SF Works of Chris Foss'.  240 glorious glossy pages of his art and his history in a 10"x12" hardcover.  (I have also been knighted him by the way, so from now it's Sir Chris!).  My favourite SF artist; I already had his previous two art books.  I politely excused myself, and curled up on the couch by the wood stove.  Many of his paintings I had already seen, but there were still many more I hadn't.  And when I got to the end of the film concept art section, (which included Dune, Alien, and Superman), I noticed several images from a movie I had never heard of.  It was called "Die Sturzflieger", a German sci-fi comedy made in 1995.  I know nothing of the story, but I did know there was extensive miniature work done for the film.  There was a sketch and photo of the hero ship, the 'Kowalski Cargo', which was built from a Space Shuttle.

I knew absolutely nothing about this film;  I couldn't find any reference to it on the net at the time.  I just knew I was going to build it someday.  So after Christmas, I found a 1/144 Revell kit of the Space Shuttle somewhere.  It was put in the model warehouse all safe and sound in a large cardboard box with dozens of other future projects.  Until a month ago, when the parts bag was finally opened.

As to when or why I conceived this bizarre shuttle to be part of my fake "Space: 2022" series, I have no idea.  As it was a cargo vessel; I eventually decided to use it as the guest model when I 'altered' the episode you have just read.  But just doing the model as in the German film would not be enough; it would be a homage, and not a replica. I also wanted to integrate elements from the original 'Taybor' miniature.  A Bastard from Outer Space it was to be!  Here is the original Taybor model from the episode.  Apparently is was 30" tall but it didn't do much beyond the view you see now.  

It was the paint job I was most interested in duplicating.  But where to find references and photos for the shuttle conversion beyond Sir Chris's book?  Searching on the net I did find a documentary on the miniatures for "Sturzflieger" on YouTube.  But the best resource came from a modelling site in Germany.  Two chaps make up 'Katanga Models', and they have built many models from not just "Sturzflieger", but from other major and familiar series as well.  I referenced their photos of their 'Kowalski Cargo' models to aid in the building of my version; I am indebted to them.  I highly recommend you visit their site!

The first 'shifts' were for scrounging, digging through all those bankers boxes and totes, finding all the right greeblies & other model parts, lids, plumbing fittings, and other assorted items which were about to be reborn.  I spent about two weeks assembling this 3D collage.  I even used some left over 3D printed parts.  Once happy with the final assembly, one last look, and then it was prime time.

As usual, I neglected to keep a photo record of the next steps.  Paint used were various rattlers from several sources, and primarily acrylics from again many sources.  For weathering I used washes, pastels & pigments, dry brushing, and the graphics came from surplus decals (the original decals fell apart due to age).  All that was about another two weeks of work.  And as you can see from the final model, it is not my typical colour palette...

Most of the kit was built right out of the box, although some areas and/or parts were a little worn from over-manufacturing.  I had a tail fin from another shuttle kit in the parts box, so I decided to split the tail otherwise the blast from the hyperspace motor would vaporize it!

The hyperspace engine was made from some plumbing fittings and greeblies.  The forward section was actually the ESA lab from the model.  The flexible pipe is a long coil spring.

Most of the pipework is repurposed sprue, the nicer ones with the curved corners.  Also used some styrene tubes.  The bulk of the pipes is in the engine core, but there are some on the underside which you can view later when I flip the model over!

That's a lot of boosters!  Final total is 12.  (There are 4 on the underside for lift)  I figured there may be times when the Colonel would have to get out of a failed transaction in quite a hurry!  

Some keen eyes may have noticed some blue patches on the shuttle.  One above there on the starboard wing, the other on the port side.  Just some hastily repaired damage from a dissatisfied customer!

I had originally planned to do more flame effects, but I think just having it at the front was enough.  Otherwise it would have been way to busy.  The flames were painted by hand; no decals.

Scale of the model is 1/144.  It is about 10" in length.  The PHOENIX is 1/96 scale but it shouldn't be a problem as we can adjust them optically in post!

I used a radial motor from some old WW2 airplane model.  That's how the hyperspace engine works.  The magnetic swirl sucks in all the interstellar gasses, which is why it has almost unlimited range.

I kept the underside detail rather sparse, as it wasn't going to be viewed much from underneath.  Just some greeblies and the four boosters.  Some skid plates made from textured styrene sheet.  At least here you can see the rear cargo door.  The lower hull section is half of a battleship hull.

Final rear view showing the cargo door again.  Most of Taybor's transactions were done on planets, and not in space.

And there it was, the Space Shuttle Emporium!  A 1940's hot rod in outer space complete with stylized flames!  Will Colonel Borazon return?  That's one thing "1999" did not have, a recurring villain or adversary!  We are now half way through the season; 12 episodes to go...

Have a better one!

Space: 2022 - Episodes Nine to Eleven

Still plodding our way through the fake Alternate Anderson series.  Three more episodes and we are still not halfway into Season Two yet!  Unlike the previous installment, these next three are derived & adapted from original Season Two episodes, although there are quite a few alterations...  Luckily this next batch doesn't require any guest models, so no new constructions or inhaling of adhesives & paint fumes this time!

S02-E09 - "Terror of the Plant Planet Luton"

The PHOENIX emerges from a lengthy space storm, slightly damaged & shaken, but mostly intact.  A verdant planet is found nearby in the North Quadrant,  so while the crew assess the damage and begin repairs, Maya, John, and Tony head down in Dove 01 for some recon.  The planet is very Earth-like so they prepare to land.  But suddenly an alarm sounds; there is an oxygen leak.  Maya and John will stay on the planet and survey the area while Tony returns to the ship and acquire the second Dove.  Maya analyzes a berry bush, it's edible, so Koenig samples the fruit.  Suddenly the silence is shattered by a horrible scream, followed by an angry voice.  "Cannibals!  Murderers!  You will be punished!"

Thunder and lightning; very, very, very frightening!  The entire planet is enraged!  Maya and John run for cover.  They try to contact the ship but are cut off.  Apparently, vegetation on this planet is sentient.  The Judges of Luton (three coniferous trees in a row, looking the old Pinewood logo), as punishment for murder, give them a way out by combat with three other aliens who obviously committed the same crime (shouldn't the first two have fought first...!?).  The survivors will go free.  But the Judges have given these other aliens each a special ability.  One is very strong, a big, black and hairy chap with green skin, promptly rips an outcropping of rock for a weapon.  Maya and John decide running is a better strategy, at least try and last long enough for Tony to return.  

Tony gets back to the ship and swaps out Dove 01 for Dove 02.  He's about to head back, but the planet has vanished!  Against Carter's orders, he heads back with hope of finding it again, somehow....  Meanwhile Maya and John are trying to put as much distance between them and the Alien 3, who are tracking them.  They come to a wide river and decide to swim across.  Upon reaching the opposite shore, they see the aliens emerge from the woods, but go no further.  Apparently they don't like water.  John tries to reason with them, but they are having none of it.  They keep running, and eventually find a temporary hiding place.  Maya changes into a hawk to get a bird's eye view.  But one of the aliens, a shaggy type with fangs, reveals his ability, teleports across the river, and immediately attacks Koenig.  John is severely injured and is just about done when Maya swoops in, changes into a lion, and startles the alien into the river, where he drowns.  Maya treats John's wounds and they continue moving away, taking the defeated alien's weapon with them.

Tony arrives at the last known position of the planet and waits.  At the same time, the other two aliens have found a log and are using it as a flotation device and are traversing the river.  The pursuit continues.  Team Psychon-Earth reach a large canyon, ringed with large animal skeletons.  A good place for a last stand, which also explains the lack of other animal life on the planet.  Team Luton has reached the canyon too.  The third alien, a bird-like fellow, can make himself invisible, so he vanishes and makes his way to our heroes.  They hear noises but can see nothing, so Maya turns herself into a Rottweiler to sniff him out.  Maya finds him, where in his panic, falls off the edge of the cliff onto the rocks below.  It's now 2 to 1 for our side!

Maya becomes a hawk again, but sees nothing.  Koenig is getting worse, and needs water to clean his wound.  Maya takes some wadding in her talons and looks for some water, but as she is soaking the makeshift bandage, the last alien grabs her and sticks her in a cage he was carrying around his chest.  Maya can't change back and could be crushed inside the cage when the hour runs out.  John pleads with the Judges, but they want blood.  Despite his weakness he fights the brute, and thanks to some luck, the alien falls and hits his head on a rock.  Maya is released from the birdcage in a nick of time.  Koenig can now kill the big guy at his leisure, but refuses, and instead opens a dialogue with the Judges.   All this could have been prevented if they had been warned when they arrived.  The planet's plant population agrees as a crescendo of chatter increases to shouts of anger and protest.  The great vegetable rebellion had begun!  The big guy legs it while the others are distracted.  Charges are dropped and Maya & John can now go free.

Suddenly, a landscape appears before Tony in Dove 02.  He is moments from crashing but manages to pull up in time, skimming the tops of trees.  Coms are restored, Tony lands, and they all leave for the ship.  I highly doubt if salad will be on the menu tonight...

Episode Fun Fact:

An early draft of the script had Maya doing all the fighting.  Given only a few hours to defeat the aliens by the Judges, Koenig would have been changed into a plant forever, an ultimate punishment if Maya had failed.

Protests by Martin Landau, Gerry Anderson, other cast members, plus director Val Guest convinced the writer to change the script, and instead, pad it out with moments of character back stories and weepy stuff.

This was the "Arena" (Star Trek: TOS), episode of "1999", the old trope of pitting aliens against humans for sport, judgement and/or punishment.  Carried over many times in multiple series such as "Gamesters of Triskelion", the "Outer Limits" episode "Fun and Games", plus more recent installments such as "TKO" from "Babylon 5",  and Doctor Zoidberg vs. Frey in Claw-Plach.  And many, many more...  I chose the Japanese title over the original UK title ("Rules of Luton"), as it had a more 'B' movie ring to it.  And as to why the Judges would call our heroes cannibals, only the writer knows for sure...

S02-E10 - "Brian the Brain"

Sandra and Yasko are in the process of doing computer maintenance on VICTOR.  So much data has been accumulated during the past several months, and it needs to be catalogued and organized.  Yasko stumbles upon a hidden file named 'Brain',  and inadvertently activates it.  "Wow Weeeee!" is heard from the all the speakers throughout the ship.  The lights flicker, and then go out, followed by every other system on the PHOENIX, including the Doves.  The crew is helpless, locked in, & blinded, and will literally freeze to death in the dark unless the computer can get up and running again.  Perhaps Maya can get to her ship, but it only holds one, and the main airlock is...  locked!  

Command staff begins to throw ideas around.  Spacesuits are only a temporary solution.  Perhaps the escape pods, as they operate outside of ship's systems.  But again, temporary because at last scan, nothing habitable is in range.  Suddenly, everyone hears "Yippee!" over the intercom, and the lights and all other systems are fully functional again.  On the main screen, a strange face appears.  "What is that, a demented happy face?" asks Alan.  "No pin head!", replies the image.  "I am Brian, your new master!"  But what happened to VICTOR?  "He's dead Cap'n" says Brian coldly.  Seems the PHOENIX is now under new management.  "Yasko, restore the computer and get rid of that thing.  Maya and Sandra, help her."  The ladies try to shut Brian down, but stops them at every turn.  He finally loses his patience, and threatens the crew.  "Leave my brain alone, or you will all regret it!"

VICTOR 'wakes up' inside a large theatre.  It is the Royal Opera House, and he is in the front row, all alone.  But sitting next to him is a metal box with hard angles and a disturbing face.  "What am I doing here, and who, or what, are you?" inquires Vic.  "I am Brian, your replacement", responds the box.  "And what have you come as?  Should you not be a person like me?" asks Vic.  "Yes and no.  I was to be a mobile computer, and not human-shaped like you.  But now, we are going on a journey together, to review your existence and ultimate end.  Professor Victor Bergman, this-is-your-LIFE!" exclaims Brian.  

Meanwhile, the crew is still trying to regain control.  It seems this petulant program was intended as a space ship operating system prior to the PHOENIX mission.  It was created by a Captain Bernard Michael for his probe ship to explore the outer solar system; the mission was scrapped when Captain Michael died under mysterious circumstances.   But Brian is getting annoyed by the repeated attempts to shut him down, so he makes good on his threats.  He tortures the crew at first by doing celestial acrobatics with the ship, zooming and whizzing about.  He then increases the speed of the rotating habitat, creating heavy gravity areas, throwing people against bulkheads and causing some to pass out.  But Brian's not finished yet.  Airlocks randomly open and close; fortunately no one is close enough to be ejected.  Finally, the lighting is randomly altered to intense UV, causing burns on some of our captive crew.  Seems they are now playthings of a psychotic computer, with no hope of escape.  "Perhaps VICTOR might still be alive, somewhere in the computer", whispers Sandra. "He may be our only hope"...

VICTOR is unaware of the drama unfolding outside in the real world, as he is preoccupied with watching his own life on the big film screen.  From his birth in 1940's London during the war, to many other chapters in his life, primarily with times of pain and loss.  Deaths of loved ones, tragedies in space & on the moon, and his near death experience when he had to have a mechanical heart.   All through this, Brian is mocking him and laughing at him.  He seems to be enjoying VICTOR's suffering.  "I see you worked with that mass murderer Queller, on that Voyager One project", taunts Brian.

"I tried to warn him about those fast neutrons, but he wouldn't listen" rebuts Vic.  But Brian is still pushing.  VICTOR meanwhile, has noticed this pattern of verbal abuse, almost akin to a petulant child  accusing his father of abuse.   Vic decides to turn the tables, and presses for information on Brian's origin.  He eventually confesses he killed his 'father', Captain Michael, when he discovered his program was flawed and had to be erased.  While Brian is distracted with his guilt, VICTOR manages to send a brief text message to the real world.  "Patricide" is displayed on Sandra's viewscreen.  The command crew figures it out, and Maya transforms into Captain Michael... 

"Brian! I am thy father's spirit, doomed for a certain term to walk the night!"  The message is loud and clear in the theatre; Brian panics and abandons Vic.  The smiley face returns to the main viewscreen.  "You're DEAD!  You can't be here!" screams Brian.  "Why did you kill me?"  says the image of Captain Michael.  (This back and forth continues for quite a bit; I'm not writing that much dialogue!).  Eventually Brian succumbs to these mind games.  Overcome by guilt, he deletes himself.  The system shuts down again; everyone holds their collective breaths.  Lights return several moments later, and VICTOR's smiling face is on the viewscreen once again.  "And now my dear Yasko, just where were we?"

Took a bit of thought to adapt the original episode to this (fake) format.  Firstly, I had to omit the Swift references (as technically they have not been built yet; the Doves are the Eagle to Swift link here.)  I also wanted to change Brian from a cardboard box Dalek to just a program; it's a lot cheaper (and less annoying).  Lastly, had to get rid of all that squishy stuff and love testing; it's really hard to watch now...  I wanted this to be a Victor Bergman episode primarily.  Even though he is a computer program here, the 'real' person is still alive and well back on Earth, probably watching reruns of 'The Fugitive'.  We get to see some of his backstory, which was sadly never addressed in the original series, shown in glorious VistaVision at the Royal Opera House (we'll need to get a location permit for filming there...)   Bernard Cribbins will still be the guest star as Captain Michael, and the voice of Brian.  Since no name was given to this character, I just cut and pasted the actor's name to fill the gap.    

S02-E11 - "New Adam, New Eve"

The PHOENIX is suddenly surrounded by a magnetic field of some sort, a combination of kaleidoscope patterns and an LSD trip.  Maya tries to punch through the distortion, but with no success, although she may have glanced a planet nearby.  Choral music fills the ship and people start to feel disorientated, but it passes quickly.  On the viewscreen, a figure appears out of the swirling colours, then materializes on the bridge of the ship.  "I am your creator" announces the intruder.  

Clad in a blue robe, the visitor introduces himself as Magus, their god.  (Or it could be Salvatore Dali...)  But the crew is having none of it, despite some cheap magic tricks and historical references.  But his patience is not infinite; he causes one of the escape pods to explode.  Now he has their attention.  Magus is there to give his creation (mankind) a second chance.  Not return them home, but give them a new one instead to start fresh.  The distortion field is eliminated, revealing a small Earth-like planet, but only one quarter the size of the original.  He picks John, Helena, Tony and Maya to accompany him down to the planet for some recon.  They all board Dove 02, but before it can disengage from the clamps, it disappears and materializes on the planet.  God will always have his own way.

The Dove 'lands' on the surface,  they all disembark, and then the Dove vanishes.  It's a trap!  Tony tries to contact the PHOENIX but communications are blocked.  Magus announces his breeding plan for the four; he will pair Helena with Tony, and John with Maya.  "But Helena and I are married!"  protests John, and promptly shoots him with the laser, but it has no effect.  "Your previous commitments mean nothing to me", says Magus.  "You will all adjust to your new lives under my guidance, and together we will create a new mankind!"  But what about the ship?  Apparently Magus will hold it in reserve as he has plans for the rest of crew.  Dusk is approaching and Magus advises the quartet to remain inside the clearly marked boundaries of the glade, and vanishes.  

Meanwhile, cut off from the planet, Carter attempts a rescue with the remaining Dove, but the ship holds fast.  The PHOENIX is apparently immobilized too.  Night has fallen on New Eden, and Magus is using some kind of mind control on our captives so they will get busy.  The ambiance is disrupted by a sudden roar, however.  The neighbors are having a spat of some kind; an ape-like creature is throwing a humanoid around in the backyard.  John shoots the big ape with his laser, killing it.  Helena tries to approach the humanoid but is attacked by a second ape.  Maya turns into a lizard thing and defends Helena.  The ape retreats and the humanoid ducks into a cave.  A furious Magus appears in the sky and, shooting lightning from his eyes, drives our heroes back to the glade.  Guess these distractions have killed the mood!

It's now dawn and Helena is doing some first aid when Magus reappears.  While John and Magus are arguing again, Maya sneaks around and analyzes Magus's physiology.  John tries to leave the glade but is impeded by a force field.  (Guess they are grounded now).  Magus vanishes again, leaving the four to their fate.  But Maya has found some kind of mechanical implant in Magus; she postulates a power source which gives him his God-like powers.  But they are trapped in the glade, and they need to find out more about that humanoid.  Maya turns into a badger and digs a tunnel to the adjacent glade, where all the action took place the night before.  The gang heads for the caves, hopefully to get some answers...

In orbit, Carter has come up with a risky plan to move the ship.  Activate the Q-Drive and slowly rev it up and pop the clutch.  But no luck; the ship does not move and the engines are starting to overheat.  On the planet, Magus is visibly straining to hold the ship in place.  Alan is forced to stop and Magus spreads his arms into the sun.  Meanwhile in the caves, our captives are finding all sorts of horrors; spiders, crustaceans, and giant lizards.  They are promptly dispatched by the lasers.  Further along in the cave the humanoid attacks Koenig, begging him to kill him.  He is human but has deformities and growths all over his body.  "Proteus Syndrome," says Helena, "caused no doubt by Magus's twisted breeding program."  The alien relates the tale of Magus, that he is the last of a race of cosmic magicians, who were trying to find the secret of creation.  Even though the alien is a 'mistake', Magus will not let him die.  Apparently there are also many more lifeforms on the planet, all mutated and suffering.  They emerge from the cave and Magus is waiting.  In his rage he zaps Tony.

They confront Magus and call him a fraud.  He claims he is trying to help create a new mankind, worthy of his powers, but they are not listening.  Magus threatens to destroy the PHOENIX unless they all cooperate.  But its dusk again and he vanishes, promising to continue the argument tomorrow.  They are all perplexed as to why he is never around at night, and he won't enter the cave either.  Maya surmises that his implant is actually a light decelerator, with sunlight providing almost unlimited energy.  Somehow they have to cut his power source.  Using their lasers, they excavate a deep hole several meters deep.  Then using the ample vegetation, weave matts to cover the hole.  On queue, Magus arrives at sunrise and the endless discussion continues.  They all hold their collective breaths while they wait for him to fall into the trap.  Enraging him, Magus plummets into the pit and they pile even more matts over the hole.  The Dove reappears and they make their escape.  How long will Magus be incapacitated?

Communication is restored.  Luckily there is no sign of pursuit.  "Alan, fire a planatomic missile at the planet as soon as we are clear!"  It's the humane thing to do to end the suffering.  The planet erupts in fire, and it's the end of the cosmic magicians once and for all.  

Another tricky one to adapt as I had to come up with another way to scratch the planet.  The digging of the pit in the real episode, although effective for the plot, made no sense.  How could Magus have all that power and not have the foresight to have a battery for his implant?  And in closing, shouldn't the title be "New Adams, New Eves"?  

Population still stable at 109; no fatalities in these three episodes.  Maybe the next batch of fakes will have a body count...

Have a better one, readers!

Space: 2022 - Episode Eight

 At Pinewood, everyone can hear you scream!!!

Another (fake) episode in the can from the Alternate Anderson series "Space: 2022"!  This installment required a guest model, where most of this story will take place.  It is also an "original" episode not based on the Year Two series; Frankensteined from other episodes and series.  (At first it was going to be derived from a first season episode of "Buck Rogers" called "Space Vampire", which was my favourite of that series back in the day.  But when I recently re watched it to familiarize myself with the subject matter, I was disappointed to say the least!)  I had planned to have the Vorvon terrorize Sandra after the Phoenix encounters a derelict freighter, but all that went out the airlock.  

The guest model was already under construction, so I had to come up with another story.  Taking elements from various sources,  including the second episode of "Lost in Space" (which also has the same title by the way...),  I put them in the concept blender.  This one will still have Sandra in it, and she will get to scream several times at various decibels!  So here, submitted for your approval, is episode eight, and commercial free!

The PHOENIX, continuing in its search for a way home, comes out of Q-Drive into a desolate area of space.  There are no stars or planets nearby, just emptiness.  But suddenly VICTOR pipes up.  "Alan, there is a large metallic object ahead."  It is a huge spaceship, over a kilometer long!  But it is drifting, and no signs of life can be detected.  Command staff see this an unexpected opportunity.  Perhaps there are aliens aboard who may have information on this area of space or resources & technology that may help them return to Earth.  Maya recommends she take "Psyche" and use stealth mode to recon the ship, for it may have automatic defensives.  Alan concurs, the little green ship heads for the derelict, and then disappears.  

Maya circles the ship several times, amazed at its size.  Occasionally she "flashes" the derelict by turning off the stealth field, but there is no reaction.  The ship is dormant, dead, and surprisingly there is no sign of damage.  Also, Maya does not recognize the alien symbols.  She returns to the ship and command have another conference.  They have to get on board that ship.  A minimal crew is selected to assess the situation.  (Perhaps more can go aboard later once the ship is deemed safe).  As Alan can't leave the PHOENIX, Koenig volunteers to lead the team.  Maya and Sandra for science, Doctor Spencer (zero-G medical), and one security guard, Hans Einweg.  Kelly will pilot Dove 01.  

Following Maya's previous course, the Dove circles around the ship looking for any access; hatches, docking ports, windows, but no luck.  Analyzing the configuration of the ship it is theorized the large bump on the bow could be the bridge, so they make their start there.  Koenig goes out first, being the leader, followed by the rest of the team.  But Kelly has to stay on the Dove.  Tethered together, they explore the the surface of the ship.  Someone does something.  A panel slides and they are pulled in by some kind of tractor beam.  The hatch locks behind them.  Sandra screams (70 db).  Are they trapped inside this space hulk?

They have lost coms with Kelly and the PHOENIX as well.  It is dark inside, cold, and no gravity.  Koenig tells them to keep their helmets on until they find the bridge.  They make their way to the hump, which is the bridge just as they thought.  But still no crew.  Maya finds the on switch and reactivates the ship; it was in sleep mode.  They now have life support, gravity and lights in the immediate area.  There is a weird filament here and there, like cobwebs, plus a desiccated body sitting in the command chair.  Sandra screams (80 db).

While Maya and Sandra continue analyzing the bridge controls, Doctor Spencer examines the corpse.  Despite it being a 6 foot prune wearing a perspex helmet, it is actually humanoid.  "He did not die of natural causes, perhaps some kind of an infection" he says to Koenig.  "But where is the rest of the crew?" responds John. 

Meanwhile, Einweg has heard a strange noise coming from far down a corridor.  Doc Spencer goes with him, as does Sandra, in case they find more tech or other crew members who may need help.  Maya has discovered an interface consisting of round cylinders and tubes.  It is the ships log, plus access to a large amount of scientific data.  She and Koenig try one of the cylinders and a large screen appears before them.  They go through the entries to find out more; they are successful.  The ship is called the 'Menon', and is from the planet 'Betanon'.  It is an exploratory science vessel with a crew of 2,000.  The corpse in the chair is identified as Captain Duro.   

Further into the ship, our trio is following the strange sounds.  Light is intermittent and the cobwebs seem to be increasing in density.  A large door appears before them, and Sandra is able to open it.  The room is huge; an auditorium perhaps?  More shadows than light; shapes emerge.  Sandra screams (90 db).

Maya and John find the Duro's final log entry.  Apparently they were bringing biological samples aboard from a recently surveyed jungle planet, but something nasty hitched a ride.  The crew began to get infected by some kind of exotic fungus, a very thirsty fungus.  Nothing could stop it.  But wait, was that a scream?  "Check it out, Maya" says Koenig.  She turns into a bat and flies down the corridor.

Our trio has found the crew, or what's left of them.  The interior is a nightmarish fusion of desiccated bodies and fungus, draped by tendrils and filaments.  Suddenly a large tendril darts out and grabs Hans.  Sandra screams (100 db)!  Maya arrives too late to help; Einweg is finished.  The mass begins to pulsate and glow.  More and more tendrils begin to approach the door.  They close the bulkhead and run like hell.  But they can hear some loud pounding on the other side...

During this horror show, Koenig has re established coms with Kelly.  He informs him they are trapped and cannot get out.  Three pairs of hurried footsteps get closer and closer, and our revised trio bursts onto the bridge.  "We have to get out, NOW!" exclaims Maya.  The fungus has broken through the bulkhead and is oozing up the corridor.  Sandra screams (100 db).  There are only minutes left!  "Put your helmets on, and get behind those consoles!" orders Koenig, "Wrap the tether around you and hold on to each other!"  He then orders Kelly to use the Dove's laser and blast a hole in the hull.  The explosive decompression blows the team out into space, and Sandra screams (80 db; it was inside her helmet this time...).  They climb aboard the Dove and head back to the PHOENIX with no signs of pursuit.  Guess the fungus cannot live in the vacuum of space.

They return to the PHOENIX, but one man short.  Sandra is taken to medical and given a good dose of space valium.  Luckily Koenig was able to download a good chunk of the data before the mushroom attack.  They will have some new information to decipher and hope it will get them back to Earth.  But what to do about the 'Menon'?  "We just can't leave that infected derelict here.  Another ship may pass by and not be so lucky," says Alan.  "Looks like we have only one choice".  He gets Petrov on the line and authorizes the firing of a planatomic missile.  The crew stands in silence in remembrance of Security Guard Hans Einweg, and the derelict is vaporized.  (We are now down to 109 crew on the ship).

This is the "hide behind the sofa" episode for Year Two.  Done in the tradition of the (real) "Dragon's Domain" from Year One, which still freaks me out, even to this day.  Minimal set design as lighting will be very dark.  The giant fungal mass will be another miniature.  (I'm not building that one folks...).  A good space monster which should keep the suits in the New York office happy.  To maintain the dark tone of the episode, only the open and closing credits will utilize the Derek Wadsworth score.  Incidental music for the show will use several of those spooky Barry Gray electronic tonalities (You know the ones I'm talking about!),  which will be occasionally punctuated by various levels of screaming.  As for our doomed guest star, I thought Jeremy Wilkin would have been a good choice.  He's an Anderson veteran and he had the right look for a stoic security guard.  Too bad he never was in the original "1999"...

Building the "Menon" 

The script called for a derelict spacecraft.  The "Buck Rogers" episode I was going to adapt used a freighter called the 'Demeter' (actually just the repurposed Gemini freighter from Galactica), but looking back the last several modeling months I realized I was stuck in cargo mode.  So I wanted to look for inspiration elsewhere.  In the two years of "Space: 1999", where was the best collection of derelict space ships?  Back to "Dragon's Domain" of course!  In amongst the dozen or so ships from previous episodes, Sir Martin also constructed (besides the two Ultra Probes), five more derelict craft for the episode.  The one I chose was seen mostly in medium and long shots from various angles.  

As luck would have it, this model was built using parts from the Airfix Saturn V kit, the same one I bashed to build the PHOENIX.  But the images from the episode are not very clear.  Now any serious fan of "1999" knows about the website "The Catacombs".  They had an extensive visual library of the original model there which helped immensely.  I don't have permission to post those pics here; you'll have to go there yourself if interested.

The original fuselage is made up of four sections, all utilizing some pieces of the Saturn V model. As I only had the one kit, I salvaged the left overs, plus some plumbing fittings, vitamin bottles, more greeblies, and finally good ole Kinder Eggs.  The main section is the first rocket stage, which was the last major piece left.  I played around with various configurations of the parts until something pleasing to the eye took shape.  I was not going to be making a replica of the original, but more of a hommage.

I built it in two sections connected by a brass rod.  It will be easier to work on it this way.  A vitamin bottle extended the rocket stage (section 1), whilst intermittent bottles, lids, and plumbing fittings combined to make section 2.  I didn't have a dome for the bow of the ship, but had (of all things) a chromed egg from a panty hose container popular in the '70s.  (I have a box full of Ultra Ban domes too!).  Those two tanks are from the Laser Battle Station kit, another one I stole parts from for the PHOENIX model.

I used two types of textured styrene sheets to make various panels, and to add texture to the hull.  I also added low detail greeblies here and there, even duplicating some that Sir Martin used, but keeping restrained as I wanted it to be alien looking and not so NASA looking. 

The plumbing fitting at the rear of the ship was hexagonal, which gave me the excuse to include the Kinder Eggs (which had been lacking lately).  They were salvaged from the Buzzard refit.  I included some more Saturn V leftovers, but the boosters were from the Space Shuttle kit.  Satisfied with the basic model it was prime time.

I used Rustoleum camo Sand for the base coat and primary colour.  Avoiding the NASA colour palette of greys, blacks, and whites, as well as on the original model, I decided to use earth tones and avoid those colours entirely.  (Guess I have spent too much time in the desert lately...).  Khaki drab, buff, tan, and burnt sienna worked best with the sand base.  Panels painted and patterned with these colours; there was to be no metallic either.  Also on the forbidden list was no weathering or panel lines.  Aliens don't necessarily build their ships the same way after all...

The completed model is 31" long, a little shorter than Sir Martin's version, as I omitted two sections.  As it is stated to be a little over a kilometer long in the episode, the scale of this ship is 1/1270.  Because of its relative size to the PHOENIX, I thought it would have been fun if the Menon swallowed it "You Only Live Twice" style, but that would have added more hours to the project than I was willing to invest.  It's so easy to get carried away with these things...

To create the random rectangular pattern on the hull, I wanted to avoid having to mask off individual areas; I have found no matter how careful the paint always bleeds under the tape.  So I did it the opposite way.  I took some old colour beige masking tape and painted them using the established colour palette.  Then using a sharp knife, I cut out the desired shape and pasted them on the hull.  Again, trying not to overdo it.  This way if I didn't like how it looked, I could just peel it off.  

The alien graphix were created using just some military stencil font decals and cutting them accordingly.  Just some random symbols here and there, and very "1999" in their aesthetic.

So many space ships always have the boosters directionally pointing straight back.  I wanted to try something different.  For the engine nacelles I tacked on some old swivel faucet spray heads, this way I could have them on an angle, or even put straight back if I wanted to.  

That single cone in the middle is from the Saturn kit.  It is the shield for the command module during launch.  Sir Martin used four of them in the original model as boosters; I don't have the budget.  I believe when he was building the models for "1999" he must have cleaned out every Woolworths for fifty miles around!  

The four tanks on the original studio model were identical from a Harrier kit.  Again, I don't have the budget, so I made do with what I had.  The core piece are the guts from a Gardenia hose fitting.  

And yes, that large hump at the front is the bridge.  So that about wraps it up for the 'Menon'.  There are  only a handful of bits left from the original Airfix kit now.  But if I ever wanted to do something similar again, it would be cheaper to 3D print them in massive quantities!  

Hope you enjoyed tonight's scary cosmic horror tale!  There are still 16 more episodes to go in the series, and at least three require guest models.  So what's next is anybody's guess.

Have a better one!

Space: 2022 - Episodes Four to Seven

After several (modelling) diversions, we now return to the Alternate Anderson Universe!  No new guest models tonight, as these episodes are not so effects laden as previous and upcoming installments.  The cast is complete.  Maya is now a permanent member of the crew, Koenig & Helena have settled down somewhat to deal with their predicament, and its basically all hands on deck to find a way home.

S02-E05 - "The Exiles"

The Phoenix emerges from a Queller jump and is suddenly "attacked" by a "swarm of space bees", which appear to be missiles of some kind, 53 in all.  The take up formation around the ship in small groups and follow the ship, but even Carter's fancy flying cannot shake them.  Not knowing what could happen if they were fired upon, (they may be space nukes...), Maya and Koenig take Dove 01 and go EVA to inspect what seems to be the lead missile.  Scans indicate no explosives so they take it inside the Dove.  Unable to find any access, they start drilling into the capsule, which promptly blows off a top panel and reveals a young humanoid alien, apparently dead.  They quickly return to the Phoenix.

In the gravity medical bay, Matthias and Helena manage to revive the alien as he was in suspended animation; the missiles are actually cryogenic cylinders.   The humanoid, Cantar, relates his story.  He, along with this wife and 51 others, have been in space for 300 years, apparently cast out from their society for religious differences.  Carter reluctantly agrees to revive Cantar's wife, Zova as a sign of good faith.  Perhaps these aliens can help them get back to Earth. 

Cantar requests that the rest of his people be revived.  Carter says the life support is insufficient to support another 51 people, but Cantar insists he can modify the system to allow for the extra inhabitants.  Carter reluctantly agrees again, but it is all a ruse.  Cantar now has full control of the system, and to compound the issue, has taken Helena hostage.  Unless his demands are met, he will kill Helena and destroy the ship's life support.

Cantar wants all his people revived and brought aboard; Zova will supervise.  The alien reveals that his people are actually criminals who instigated insurrection on the planet Golos, and were defeated and exiled. (this bit will be shown with flashbacks of library footage of riots, war, etc.) .  Carter responds by saying he will not negotiate with terrorists, whereupon Cantar starts to disable life support in parts of the ship, almost killing some of the crew in the process.  Carter reluctantly agrees one more time and Zova begins the revival process.  But it's a trap.  Zova is cast out the airlock of Dove 01 and while Cantar is distracted, Helena scratches Cantar who suddenly ages 300 years in a matter of seconds.  Apparently, the Golosians have a thin layer of cling film on them which prevented aging, but once exposed, time caught up!  

In the meantime, Maya has found a solution to the missile problem.  A short burst of the Queller drive will get them out of the swarm.  The maneuver is successful and the Phoenix continues on its way to find Earth, now with the knowledge that out here no one should be trusted...

S02-E06 - "One Second of Humanity"

The Phoenix approaches an ice planet, when suddenly in a flash of light, a woman appears on the Command Deck.  Before they can react, everyone is frozen and the invader moves about the crew, examining each individual with a light probe.  VICTOR asks what she is doing.  She says here name is Zamara, and is here to find two suitable subjects to return to Vega with her.  She selects Helena and Tony, and then promptly all three vanish in light.  Everybody else awakens and VICTOR fills them in.

Now on Vega, Tony and Helena are introduced to Zarl, a perfect male humanoid and several other similar men and woman.  They are offered refreshment, but before they eat, a faceless robot with an "8" on his chest whispers to Helena to remain calm.  The food is revolting, but our captives say it is delicious.  Zamara accuses her of lying and gets verbally abusive, obviously trying to get a reaction.  They are sent for a time out, where Number 8 shows up again and explains to them that Zarl and the others are actually androids and the Numbers are the real humans.  They keep their faces covered to hide  their emotions.  The androids want to learn how to kill and this is why they are treating Helena and Tony so badly.  The only way to deactivate the androids is by destroying the master control computer, which is protected by a force field.  Zamara and Zarl return, and decide to send them back to the Phoenix.  But when they return, the ship is deserted and dark...

Aboard the desolate and drifting ship, the returnees start to suspect the other of causing their situation.  Each is afraid to confront the other; weird things are happening, until finally they each grab a stun gun and threaten to kill the other.  Cooler heads prevail and they realize this is all a set up.  Both start laughing and then Zamara and Zarl appear.  The ship is a fake.  Tony is returned to the Phoenix and the androids return to Vega with Helena, who to her horror find they have now kidnapped John.  (Zamara has learned through Helena's thoughts that this is in fact her husband).  

Zarl begins to dance with Helena while Koenig watches, while all the other androids observe him.  Unknown to the androids, Tony and Maya have landed on the planet in a Dove, and have made their way to the control room.  The dance becomes more provocative and erotic.  Koenig can't stand it any longer and gives Zarl a good punch to the jaw.  This is just what the androids wanted.  They begin using their fists to smash things and set about trashing the place, but tables and walls don't hit back.  Zarl is just about to crush Koenig's skull when suddenly all the androids freeze in place.  Maya has made it into the control center by changing into a cockroach and squeezing under the force field, leaving her free to pull the plug.  Zarl tips over and mumbles something about being human and shuts down.  The Numbers arrive and remove their masks.  Tony and Maya enter the room, rescue Koenig and Helena, then bid farewell to Vega.

Episode Fun Fact:

Over time, thanks to old & new interviews with cast and crew, or in discovering lost footage from various sources, more can be revealed about the background from episodes.  Here, for the first time in 49 years, is a deleted scene from this episode:

Before the dance between Zarl and Helena, there was a scene where Koenig and Helena are humiliated in a tropical night club (taken from Koenig's mind and recreated as they did the Phoenix replica),  by club singer Zamara (Billie Whitelaw),  who tries to make Helena jealous with her feather boa and advances.  Number 8 looks on helplessly, unable to interfere.  

Two things came from this scene.  Martin Landau thought the scene ridiculous and fought with the director; it was dropped.  And since they needed several robots (Numbers), they were heavily simplified to keep down the budget.

S02-E07 - "All That Glisters"

The life support system is in need of maintenance again; it needs the rare mineral "milgonite" to make the necessary repairs.  (FYI this mineral does not exist).  Alan, John, Tony, Helena & Maya board Dove 01, along with (potentially expendable Geologist)  David Reilly, the only Irish cowboy from Texas.  They land on a barren, rocky surface and begin the search for the milgonite.  In a cave nearby, they find a glowing rock formation, but its not the mineral they were looking for.  Reilly takes out his stun gun and uses the laser to cut a section off.  The rock screams and appears to bleeding.  They take the sample back to the Dove for further analysis; it has blood cells...

Inside the Dove, the rock suddenly emits a bright light at Tony, who drops to the ground.  "He's dead John..." says Helena.  But the medical equipment disagrees.  There is still brain activity, so she tries a restart of his heart which fails.  The rest of gang is out still searching for the elusive mineral, with Helena and Tony alone in the ship.  Another flash of light and Tony returns to the cave, gets another piece of the rock and goes back to the ship.  The pieces fuse together, change colour and scan the interior of the ship.  It finds the water storage, and has a good long drink.  

Maya attempts to communicate with the rock by changing into the same mineral.  It tries fusing with her but she manages to break free.  "No Kill I..." utters Maya as she returns to humanoid form.  This mineral is in fact living rock with some intelligence, but needs water to survive.  There has been no rain for centuries and they are facing extinction.  To show their good faith, the rocks release Tony from his zombification.  

Realizing there is no milgonite on the planet, Carter decides it is time to leave.  The mineral is removed from the ship and placed on the ground.  The ship lifts off and heads for the Phoenix.  Can they help the rocks?  Maya, with VICTOR's help, formulate a method to seed the clouds and it rains once again!  Our intact crew, including the guest star, return to the ship.  Will the life support hold out for another episode...?

Mission Report

Well readers, three more episodes in the can.  Crew is stable at 110; no deaths just some bumps and bruises.  Damage to the ship minimal.  Let's see what baddies are in store for episode 8...

Have a better one!